Estranged 28-year-old sibling reappears to ask their younger brother for money after cutting family ties: 'They made a dramatic exit'

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Dec 30, 2024 11:00 AM EST

Two siblings from the same family are having trouble reconciling their upbringing. It's a common experience for many siblings: no parents treat all of their children exactly the same way. 

In some families, the youngest child remains the "baby" of the family forever, and is constantly doted on by their parents. In other families, the eldest kid is the golden child, and the other siblings get compared to them no matter how great their own accomplishments are. Family matters are complex, even when everyone in the family loves and cares for one another. 

In this person's family, something is definitely wrong. This guy shares that his older sibling suddenly cut off the entire family, and refused to speak to anyone for five years. This guy, u/OwnBet5510, seems to think that his sibling was in the wrong for this, since they didn't speak to him for years, either. So he was especially surprised when the sibling suddenly started demanding money after their father passed away, opening the whole issue up again. Scroll down to read the whole story, as well as comments from people who gave their own takes on the tale. 

Up next, read about some sleepless souls who can't catch a break while trying to snooze, like one person who shared that "My AirPod... got in my mouth and I chewed on it in my sleep."

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10447638528
    via Pablo Merchán Montes for Unsplash+

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Oh No, The Consequences of Cutting Off Your Family (and Then Asking for Their Money)
    via u/OwnBet5510
  • 03
    So, a little backstory: I (26M) thought I had a typical family growing up, but apparently my older sibling (28NB) had a very different take. About five years ago, they cut ties with everyone- our parents, me, the works- citing "emotional neglect" and "favoritism." They made a dramatic exit and went full ghost mode. No calls, no texts, no happy birthday. Nada. It stung, but hey, their choice, right?
    via u/OwnBet5510
  • 04
    Fast forward to this year: our dad passed away. It was devastating. I handled everything-funeral, paperwork, his entire estate. My sibling? Complete radio silence. They didn't even show up to the funeral.
    via u/OwnBet5510
  • 05
    Then the will comes into play. Turns out, Dad left everything to me-house, savings, the lot. Why? Because my sibling had noped out of the family and made it crystal clear they didn't want to be involved. I didn't ask for this, but honestly, it was a relief. The inheritance let me pay off student loans, buy a house, and have some financial security.
    via u/OwnBet5510
  • 06
    But guess who suddenly reappeared? That's right. My estranged sibling found out about the inheritance through a mutual friend. Did they call to reconnect? Apologize? Nope. They immediately demanded half the inheritance, claiming it's "only fair." Oh, and they're drowning in debt, so if I don't share, I'm "inhumane" and a bad family member. The irony, right?
    via u/OwnBet5510
  • 07
    I said no. Why should I go against our dad's wishes to bail them out? They didn't even attend the funeral, let alone offer any support. Now, they're out there calling me selfish and heartless, dragging my name through the mud to anyone who'll listen. Even some mutual friends are saying I should "be the bigger person."
    via u/OwnBet5510
  • 08
    But honestly? Actions have consequences. They chose to cut ties. They stayed gone until money was on the table. I don't feel guilty for sticking to my boundaries and respecting our dad's wishes. So yeah. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
    via u/OwnBet5510
  • 09
    Update: Hey everyone! First off, I just want to say thank you all so much for the support, advice, and wisdom you've shared with me. It means a lot! That said, I want to address some of the questions people have been asking:
    via u/OwnBet5510
  • 10
    Where's the mom in the story? I left out a lot of details about my mom to avoid doxxing myself and because she's not really part of the issue here. Just know that my mom told me she'll support any decision I make.
    via u/OwnBet5510
  • 11
    • Did the sibling suffer emotional ab e because they're NB? I replied to a comment on this, but to reiterate—we've never had an issue with this at home. I'm not going into further detail out of respect for my sibling's privacy. What I can say is that in my 26 years, my parents have never made this a problem, even though the concept was new to them.
    via u/OwnBet5510
  • 12
    • Are you the golden child? Sure, call it that if you want. I've always been close to my parents, supported them, and stayed by their side, even as the youngest. I've respected my sibling's decision to leave since they're an adult. The real issue here is them showing up now just for money and not even caring about our dad's death. If it weren't about the money, they wouldn't have come back at
    via u/OwnBet5510
  • 13
    all. • What's the legal situation? I've contacted our family lawyers. They're aware of everything and are helping me figure things out. Sorry I can't give more details-l don't fully understand all the legal stuff myself, but they're family friends and have my back.
    via u/OwnBet5510
  • 14
    • This post sounds fake, look at OP's history! Obvious fake account!!! Yeah, this is a burner account. Also, I used ChatGPT to clean up the wording and fix my spelling because I don't want to get identified-people I know frequent these subs (the two where this story is posted). Thanks again, everyone.
    via u/OwnBet5510
  • 15
    Snoo-19239 If I hear my friend's having a family squabble, you couldn't get me to voice an opinion one way or the other under hot pincher. These friends of yours telling you to be the bigger person are way out of line. NTA by the way.
    via u/Snoo-19239
  • 16
    OptmstcExstntlst As the old saying goes, "no two children are raised by the same parents." Your sibling isn't entitled to the inheritance and you can be p ed they left without a word, but that doesn't mean they didn't have reasons to cut ties with your parents.
    via u/OptmstcExstntlst

    Although some people sided with the original poster, a lot of commenters felt that there was some major information missing from the story. People don't usually just cut off their whole families for no reason at all. Some people noted that parents can treat their kids vastly differently, even when they're trying to raise them the same way. 

  • 17
    gc2bwife It's easier for people to say be the bigger person when it's not their money on the line.
    via u/OwnBet5510
  • 18
    d... I'm not going to try to read into why they did this. Your sibling might've had very valid reasons. You may have no idea why they truly chose to go no contact. All you can do is respect it and make peace with it. I'm not going. to tell you they're wrong for doing so. Because you felt you had a normal experience in the household growing up does not mean they did.
    via u/OwnBet5510
  • 19
    I have gone no contact with my only living parent as his only bl d related child. I have a stepsister from his 3rd marriage, and I'm not close with her at all. I say this to explain when I went no contact, I knew full well this very likely meant zero inheritance for me. I understand and accept that as a "consequence" of going
    via u/OwnBet5510
  • 20
    no contact. I had valid reasons and no contact was better for me than any amount of money for continuing to deal with a malignant narcissist.
    via u/OwnBet5510
  • 21
    Ditka85 Screw 'em all and enjoy your improved and less stressful life.
    via u/OwnBet5510
  • 22
    StregaNonasPa... I'm gonna start this off with a NTA. I want to give my perspective on this as an eldest sibling who also had family issues around emotional neglect and favoritism, but I do want to make it clear that I don't think you're the a h le or that you're obligated to give. money to them.
    via u/OwnBet5510
  • 23
    It is very possible to have two wildly, completely different experiences in one home between two siblings. For example, my parents went to every single one of my sibling's sports games, performances, etc, but didn't take the time to go to any of mine, or even my graduation. My parents. would do anything to buy equipment and toys and anything my sibling desired,
    via u/OwnBet5510
  • 24
    but wouldn't shell out a dime for necessary dental work for me. I think it is very possible and likely that this is the case in your home (though, this could also be just me projecting my own experience onto this story) and as the sibling who benefitted from your parents affection, attention, and support, of course you would perceive it as a normal home life.
    via u/OwnBet5510
  • 25
    If you were ever interested, you could maybe reach out to your sibling and ask them about their perspective on what home life was like for them growing up. Though, again, you aren't obligated to. This might help you better understand why they chose to go no contact. I also went no contact with my family, and to be honest, I personally do not expect to
    via u/OwnBet5510
  • 26
    be in any sort of will or to attend any funerals or to hear a single word from anyone and I've made my peace with that. Your sibling on the other hand may view the inheritance as the least your father could do/provide what they didn't in real life, just once, against all the other times he didn't show up for them. I don't think there's a "correct" approach to handling the
    via u/OwnBet5510
  • 27
    anger/hurt/expectations of this sort of family dynamic. I understand your perspective of, hey, you just lost a parent and it is deeply hurtful and disrespectful for your estranged sibling to come out of the woodwork to demand money after cutting contact. Yeah, you're allowed to be upset about that because that definitely S ks. You're grieving, you
    via u/OwnBet5510
  • 28
    just put in all of this work to give your father a proper send off and having a sibling come back with no moments of reconciliation, acknowledgement, etc is definitely hard. All of this is just a long winded way to gently say, hey, there may be a lot to your sibling's story and experience that you may not have picked up on growing. up, and if you haven't
    via u/OwnBet5510
  • 29
    expressed curiosity on getting to know their perspective, they may not view you as a safe person to reconnect with. If you wanted to maybe reconnect/understand what happened there, it goes a long way to just reach out and genuinely ask
    via u/OwnBet5510

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consequences family drama aita family feud will parenting family money son parents Father
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